mistytpednaem: (Just call me York.)
Naem ([personal profile] mistytpednaem) wrote2012-03-10 10:36 am
Entry tags:

Oh. Er.

I'm sure it's still yesterday somewhere.

So. Hi! I have managed to pass all my first semester subjects with decent grades (I am classifying a 12 on German as "decent" for now because holy shit German), assuming my as-of-yet-unknown Computer Resources score isn't unexpectedly miserable. I think I've sort of been making friends too, maybe...? Slowly...? I... still can't talk to a couple of guys as much as I'd like to, which is par for the course for me (bleh). On the other hand, I've met a Harry Potter fan and, at one point, our mid-class chatter somehow evolved into shipping talk, which was sort of surprising for the two of us. And that's something. It was pretty surreal for me. 8|;;

What I am very much dissatisfied with is my shameful inability to stay in contact with some of my high school teachers. I loved them, and I'm fairly sure they'd like to hear about me, but I just... can't talk to them.

Well, I did manage to send a text message to my History teacher, last Christmas.

She replied the next day.

Then I replied a week later.

Then she replied back.

Then I never did. *headdesk*

But it's still... progress, I guess...?

I dunno, I really think my mood and mental state peaked on the Summer of 2010 - look how productive I was back then! -, stayed that way for some months and has been fluctuating since then, probably having hit some sort of rock bottom around the latter half of last year. I produce a lot of sketches still, but finished pictures are scarce, and as far as non-RP writing goes... I wrote ~1100 words of a stupid self-indulgent AA/HS crossover back in November, didn't quite finish it, and haven't touched the thing ever since the middle of that month.

Even when I'm in one of my best moods - which is when I manage not to listen to my stubborn beliefs that I am a stupid, hopeless and inept human being - thinking about my lack of productivity gets me down.

... Oh God help I don't know how to end this on a positive note. SO WHERE'S EVERYONE BEEN?

ginga270: zero comfort hugging x (comfort hug)

[personal profile] ginga270 2012-03-10 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
First, completely unrelated sort of but I must mention it now that I saw it-- deadly premonition - life is beautiful. I still need to play this game but I at least have this song and why can't I STOP LISTENING TO IT

*ahem* ANYWAY...I'm glad you managed to pass first semester with decent grades, despite German! And awesome that you've been slowly making friends at college. :D

Also, I've still been stalking your Tumblr all the damn time even though I have no means to respond to anything you put up there (and I've been absolutely horrible at keeping up with my personal journal, too ;;) and I just want to give you hugs. Lots and lots of hugs, like my icon. Every time you mentioned something about doubting yourself or agh anxiety, I wanted to give you comfort hugs and ask you if you were me. ;;; I just wanted to let you know that.
dividedby: ([misc] donut!)

still Ginga!

[personal profile] dividedby 2012-03-15 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Also, randomly, do you have a Plurk? Because I was just sort of beaten senseless into getting one (sort of) and I could stalk you there... mo-om
dividedby: ([crack] heyl YES)

Re: still Ginga!

[personal profile] dividedby 2012-03-15 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
YAAAY! /stalks 8>