Naem (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mistytpednaem) wrote2011-08-02 11:51 am
mistytpednaem) wrote2011-08-02 11:51 am
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Gun Safety 101: Let's Finish Watching Wild Target! (Part 4)
Last time, NONSENSICAL ROMANTIC DEVELOPMENTS. Today, we learn many lessons...
The next morning, Victor tries to address the whole "My mom just tried to murder you" mishap in the most casual way possible. Rose actually goes along with it.
... Victor doesn't even try to explain what really happened. I don't blame him.
Just try to imagine how Mother could've gotten there in the first place. She is badass.
Psht, look at her. Silly woman.
Not gonna lie I might have made that face at Shelly a few times by now
And then we cut to Dixon and Fabian, still searching for the origins of the painting. This time, Dixon lets his... partner or whatever the fuck he is handle the interrogation, and he is very intent on knowing who could have painted something like that.
Would a joke about the mentally disabled needing employment opportunities too be in poor taste? I'm seriously asking that, I know some people get offended adsgdfjh
(I'm not reposting that just to make a cute self-referential joke, that's actually his reaction here.)
The glasses are off. Shit is getting real. The unfortunate unnamed character gives them Gerry/Jerry's address.
Yes, well, you told him to go ahead and do the interrogating himself. You know, I would say Fabian is his apprentice, if only to parallel the situation with Victor and Tony, but Dixon looks younger than him, so... vOv
Oh God I bet he gets all the women he wants
Aaand down Unnamed Character goes. No, wait, this screenshot doesn't really portray the essence of Dixon, hang on.
Much better.
Back at Maynard Manor... Ominous happenings. The lights go out. Glass shatters.
This may very well be the climactic showdown between...
... Murderous Virgin's guests and his melting heart.
I've gotta admit, this scene caught me off-guard the first time I saw the movie. 8D;; If I were Victor, I would have pulled out a gun too!
So, what time is it now?
~*~IT'S PARTY TIME~*~
That last gif has got to be my favourite.
And later...
One of the movie posters spoils this outcome. >:T I don't think I like any of the posters for this movie, actually; they're all very generic.
I have yet to imagine one scenario that could result in-- oh wow. I just noticed for the first time that Tony is inside the plastic wrap. This is the comedy that keeps on giving as long as you're willing to ignore the mediocre bits.
... You know, it's a good thing age gaps in pairings usually don't squick me, or else... er... Well, you're about to see.
Oh. Here we go. That picture? Let's call it Exhibit C. And even though I didn't announce it beforehand, here are Exhibit A and Exhibit B.
Now riddle me this: does Victor Maynard have a foot fetish, or is it someone else involved in the production of this movie? Because it really starts to jump out at you if you're trying to analyse it. I mean, you see it too, right? I'm not crazy, right?
Back to less disturbing matters for a moment (not that I have anything against fetishes, God knows I've got a few weird-ass ones), Rose got his watch-slash-wire dispenser. But it was as an act of affection, see. :3 Possibly drunken affection, but affection nonetheless.
IIII did say it would be just a moment.
"Oh what the hell, if it stops my mother from flipping again..."
Oh, that's his name!
Ferguson then follows up with a hilarious line that I can't even paraphrase and that's the last we ever see of these two. They shall be missed!
... I should mention, however, that the movie cuts from Victor and Emily kissing straight to a shot featuring Mike's hairy nipple in the centre. It's a bit startling. 8|
Sex does your head good and Maynard starts to make his house a cheerier place. Basically, the moral we should draw from this is that Shelly needs to get laid.
Meanwhile, Rose is... going through his room...
...
WHY THE FUCK IS SHE DOING THAT?! "Because the plot required her to find out the truth" is not an acceptable answer.
The Maynards have a peculiar sense of aesthetics. When Victor fetches good ol' Roger, he also unwittingly shows Rose the hidden compartment in his wardrobe.
HEY GUYS, REMEMBER THAT SCRAPBOOK?
But that's not all! She finds...
An old gun!
Do we need to hammer the point in any further?
YES WE DOOOOOO
And a dramatic close-up for good measure!
"Tony, I think she's going to like this."Hello there, mood whiplash! Sometimes, I wish the whole film could be a dark comedy, but there are a few bits that appeal to my inner sap. ;;
And now, let's have a small course on... What Not To Say To A Woman Who Thinks She Is About To Be Killed!
Using an oddly neutral intonation isn't helpful either.
On second thought, nothing you do will help if someone thinks you're about to kill them.
... But this really doesn't help, either.
She thinks Tony is "in on it", see.
And that is the cherry on top of the cake.
This? This is the cherry on top of the cherry.
DARING ROGUE HAS STILL GOT IT. Now if only this weren't an unfortunate misunderstanding.
That's the gun she found earlier; pretty nifty-looking, but old.
Victor keeps it for sentimental reasons.
Then they have this little exchange that I didn't catch and, sadly, will have to paraphrase:
ROSE: He's a hitman!
VICTOR: ... And you're a thief.
TONY: You're made for each other!
Anyway, after a small round of Rose sounding absolutely disgusted...
She runs away. And Victor...
... Goes up to the door, closes it and looks down without a word. ó_ò
... That is a welcome mood change.
Then they have a small conversation about how Tony is safer here and Victor mentions he knows exactly who's most likely to be out to kill any of them right now: Dixon. He also mentions that Dixon is a goddamn psychopath.
And now, gun training!
... You know, I hope he learned how to do this without a blindfold first.
Oh, he probably did!
He might be pondering if six weeks are enough. Not everyone is a prodigy like you, Victor Maynard!
Later, we see Murderous Former-Virgin training his French again.
And now this post turns into a PSA where I teach you why it's bad to write characters for a long enough time to start empathising with them to ridiculous extents, by showing you exactly how I felt the first time I saw this movie:
"THE LITTLE VOICE IS SAYING JE SENS, J'AI SENTI-- OH MY GOD HE'S SAYING IT IN ENGLISH AND HE SOUNDS SO ABOOBLOOBLOOOOOOOOO"
The danger in roleplaying an assassin does not come from the possibility you'll develop a murderous streak. No, it comes from thinking too much about how damaged they must be and dsgdfhfj jesusfuck this is embarrassing. Let's move on1
So Rose thought Gerry deserved a warning about the whole, you know, dude out to kill them deal.
Why isn't there a gif of him staring lifelessly and then dropping down to the side yet?
Regardless, Gerry, you were a good man. Shame you had to get caught up in this clusterfuck. ;_;
Surprise, Dixon's there and asking questions and goddammit, I caught him with his eyes closed! o9
... He, uh, really wants to find Victor.
Honestly, just the thought of being left along with Fabian is terrifying enough. Eating his finger is unnecessary.
Just in case you doubted for a single moment that he's serious.
Aaaand cut to Vic and Tony doing target practice!
Maybe he needs to be under pressure to shoot properly. And by properly, I mean "accidentally cripple Mike".
This is how it's done. 8)
Tony's turn now. Do you believe in Tony? You had better fucking believe in Tony, because he's awesome.
Holy bullseye.
Yeah, don't worry, Tony didn't suddenly get flawless or anything.
It's just this fucking guy. God, if the main characters in this movie weren't so likeable, I swear I'd root for the bad guys instead. But no, instead they just make everyone completely awesome.
Hell, let's zoom in, I love that expression too damn much:
There.
Ahh, let me keep gushing about expressions just a little longer: Victor here is the perfect face of Disdainful Superiority and Tony is, well, "oh God please don't piss off the armed psycho".
Buuurn.
... D:
Against the wall they go, and now Rose realises her mistake.
... But how long was she gone for? Jesus Christ, the romance in this movie makes the pacing look much worse.
I still can't get over how Martin Freeman barely looks like himself in this film. Then again, I guess that's the merit of a great performance.
Juuust making sure this guy gets as much exposure as every other character.
So, when faced with the threat that everybody will die... Victor tries again.
Rose remains the CHAMPION OF BUUUURNS
They say it to each other in French because why the hell not, and then oh wow I missed something pretty big. Victor says he just can't do it, Fabian flips his shit AND--
Mother shoots him the fuck down.
Even Dixon doesn't know what the hell.
After making Goddamn Psychopath put his gun down, some calm dialogue ensues even though, er, it's not really safe yet.
Says Mother. If this were a biographical picture and someone showed her the script before starting the project, it never would have seen the light of day.
If you know what I mean.
Wait, I said it wasn't safe yet, didn't I?
Er, you can't really tell, but he's throwing a knife.
See? He just needs life-threatening pressure!
(It's really weird to hear Ron Weasley swearing like that, you know.)
Ah, yes, here we go into a sequence that made absolutely sure I would like this movie by the end of it.
Dixon took he gun from Rose back in the gallery.
That's really missing a (BANG, SPLATTER).
So, yes. This scene made me feel better about all the romance. Why? Because Victor is still a cold-blooded assassin. And now, they're all going to be a happy, dysfunctional family.
... Not sure if this shot was necessary, though. 8| I liked leaving the horribly gruesome death implied!
Ahh, burying bodies by your home together. Truly a sign of an unbreakable bond.
Yup, we get a glimpse into their future life.
D'aww, it's a boy. Just like Mother wanted.
... I won't even attempt to sound tough and cynical right now, seeing the garden like this made me smile.
Tony's looking fiiiine. He's probably an assassin now!
I want to believe Snowy's fine. I WANT TO BELIEVE.
And that's it for Wild Target! It isn't without its flaws - I can certainly see where the critics are coming from - but it appealed to me and a bunch of other people, so! vOv I recommend you see this movie, if only for the acting (I WILL NEVER STOP PRAISING IT), which is without a doubt a great part of its charm. It makes the deadpan, farcical comedy work. If you'd never heard of it before and actually want to watch it now, then I've done my job here. 8D
... And maybe we'll have an abridged look at the French original eventually? Maaaaybe. Maybe even next time.
(I'm not bolding that because it's a maybe.)
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I literally LOL'd at seeing the first shot of Victor with the flower printed table. Especially because I keep imagining Shelly in his place. And just, that face he's making sitting at it...PRICELESS.
Also Mother is a badass. I'm just sayin'.
Why did it not put any spaces in my comment wth-- second time STOPPIT
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